


School of Fish

by C-chan (1001paperboxes)



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-01
Updated: 2016-04-01
Packaged: 2018-05-30 13:04:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 4,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6425158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1001paperboxes/pseuds/C-chan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mini fills for everyone in the Poisson d'Avril exchange!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Carbon65

**Author's Note:**

> For Carbon65  
> "The Amis absloutely, positively would never have that kind of dinner party. The idea is absurd. Who even likes jello salad?"

Having a barbeque fundraiser had been a joint decision. People, after all, enjoy cheap food in the summer, and burgers could go for relatively small amounts and still turn a profit. 

The idea to add entertainment was equally as natural. Doing such might attract more people, give more reasons to donate, and create a present, party-like atmosphere. And so Feuilly and Grantaire had made small trinkets to sell, Combeferre had collected and carefully counted a jar full of jellybeans, and Courfeyrac had joked about opening a kissing booth until Joly and Bossuet decided that it was a thing that must happen, and constructed it accordingly.

Enjolras had expected Bahorel to be content manning the flames. Indeed, the word "grillmaster" had been heard repeatedly as Bahorel and Jehan had meticulously chosen meat, buns, and condiments. That should have been enough for anyone.

And yet, there he was in swim trunks with a kiddy pool at the ready, full of jello ("Jello salad, actually," Jehan corrected. "I added a can or two of pineapple, just to keep things interesting.") and holding out another pair of trunks in approximately Enjolras' size with a giant grin on his face.

Enjolras sighed and made a mental note: Bahorel should never be allowed on an event planning committee again.


	2. Keptin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Keptin.  
> "Montparnasse + sans culottes"

"I shall be an aristocrat," Jondrette had said. "You are looking upon le Baron du Thénard himself."

Of course, one just not become a titled individual; one must have the bearing and the accoutrements to put it off. And thus, Montparnasse was not surprised to find out he'd been put in charge of clothing once again. Even if the clothing requested was a bit beyond their normal fare.

Appropriate shirts weren't too hard to find. Fine linens and silks were easily enough nabbed, and not in bad condition either. Shoes could be polished into an approximation with very little effort, and hats and scarves of the bourjoisie could easily be rendered into something of the highest class.

When it came to legwear however, ah! There was the difficulty. Culottes, although dated, would be just the thing for a baron just slightly past his prime. However, the standard trousers were entirely unsuitable to be made into such a garment, and matching culottes to a jacket to make a complete affair would be vital. No, Montparnasse decided. In order to be as precise as possible, these culottes would need to be made from scratch, or else done without completely.

The question was, where could he find the help that would make him a suitable pair without raising alarm of the wrong sort altogether?

This would be a delicate procedure indeed.


	3. Estelraca

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For estelraca  
> "Werewolves are cool!" and "Medical work is hard."

From the moment he entered, Joly couldn't take his eyes off her; which was a shame as she wasn't the one he was to focus upon.

No, that was the creature she introduced as her dog, a mongrel missing tufts of fur and making soft, sad, whimpers. Still, he seemed amiable enough and moved onto the table when prompted, the woman stroking his head in reward.

"He's just not been himself lately, you see. And I heard…" she paused for a moment, grinning as she follows Joly's gaze to her revealing neckline. "I heard from a friend that you were among the best. So if you could give him a thorough checkover I'd…."

Joly sighed, cutting her off mid-sentence.

"Sorry," he offered. "I… this veterinarian thing's just not doing it for me. It's just too…."

"It's fine," Musichetta promised, hand still stroking as the canid form stretched and shifted until Bossuet lay smiling and reaching towards the the doctor, pulling him in by the lab coat for a quick kiss.

"Perhaps plain old doctor instead?" he offered.

Joly considered for a moment, then gave a nod. "I think I could handle that."

"Great," Musichetta agreed. "So, where did we leave off?"


	4. Genarti

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For genarti  
> "Art for art's sake"

"Why, nothing could be more simple," Bahorel exclaimed, hand clasping Enjolras' shoulder. "The change of language must start with ourselves, and indeed, a change of name. Too long have we all dealt with the common name Jean. Indeed, to reach farther audiences, we should choose a name with further reach. And, then, what better a name than Art?

"I know what you are thinking; that name is both English and, perhaps Royalist in its full. To the latter I say, it is also of legend and equality, of rising to greatness, battle, and love. To the former, I say what better way to show an avant-garde nature than to bring in the foreign, in the name of beauty and creation?

"Our dear Prouvaire, of course, shall be Arteur. Why, with some reach, perhaps we could invite M. Pontmercy's father-in-law into being our patron as Art Valart!

"But the future is now, and the future is brilliant. To bring it to fruition, we should embrace our new names and the new lives they bring. It shall be  _ excellent. _ "


	5. Cescky

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Cescky  
> "E/R kissing in secret places"

His tail flicked, glad to finally be freed from his clothing. Looking at Enjolras spread his wings, he had a feeling the blond (angel… he still wanted to call him one, no matter the stern looks and protestations he received) was feeling much the same.

To have freedom was to fit in, after all. And so such things that marked them as strange, as different, were relegated to private quarters. As were Bossuet's gills, Éponine's  _ eyes _ , Bahorel's fire, and other such traits and features.

For now, however, Grantaire was glad to worship the creature before him as he was, standing on tiptoe to press a kiss against the wing's first joint, tail moving languidly all the while.


	6. R0mina

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For r0mina  
> "Grantaire realizes he's never seen Combeferres soulmarks before and thinks that it's one very elaborate joke on him, and Ferre for the life of him can't figure out how to do feelings in a way to prove to Grantaire his marks are real."

Everypony knows that a cutie mark is the defining aspect of any individual. It tells the world about your destiny: who you are, where you came from, what you will become.

Enjolras', naturally, had been the first to develop of their group of friends: a red flag waving on a pole. Feuilly's had not been far behind: a paintbrush and pen crossed over a book. Everyone else's had followed in turn, including his own grapes upon a scroll and even late blooming Bossuet's bandaided heart. Indeed, they had celebrated with each one's development, and wondered in turn on the meanings each held. And yet, he had never seen Combeferre's.

Combeferre wore his lab gear often, and his labcoats often went down to his flanks, unlike the cropped garments that most preferred. Even in the few times it hadn't been on, he'd been always facing the wrong way, or was carrying saddlebags over that most important place. And his activities made it no easier to decide: Combeferre was as near to a renaissance pony as any could be, moving from science to music to politics and onward with equal ease, making many a pony around him incredibly jealous.

He was certain that Enjolras, at least, was privy to the mark's true nature, but trying to pry any personal information out of that specimen of a stallion was like asking an earth pony to fly.

Or, perhaps, it didn't exist. But Combeferre had passed through adolescence with the rest of them, and it was near-impossible to imagine an adult remaining a blank flank.

No. Combeferre had a cutie mark. Grantaire was sure of it.

The only question was: what could it be? And how on earth could he sneak a peak?

This, he thought, would require some plotting.


	7. Thunder_rolled_a_six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For thunder_rolled_a_six  
> "Bahorel goes on a small adventure!"

As it turns out, everything is treacherous when you are but six inches tall. You become a target for cats, may be trampled nearly without notice, and can drown much more than your sorrows in a glass of wine.

These are but a few of the challenges Bahorel faces on a daily basis. Armed with a needle and large brass button, he navigates the streets of Paris, perhaps its smallest resident and its biggest protector.

The city is his kingdom, and he knows it well. He does avoid the legal buildings (for therin lie the worst of mankind) but writes his own laws and enforces them upon the streets of his land. He basks in the warmth of sunlight on rooftops, battles rats when they dare disturb his friends, and causes mischief with broken threads and mysterious footprints.

He eats like royalty on the food of the town: crumbs of the day's finest delights from the boulangerie, shavings of meat and cheese hastily collected, grapes and chocolate from the marketplace, and coffee, wine, and other drunken delights from the café.

And every night he goes to bed and dreams of what grand adventures the next day will bring.


	8. Merelydovely

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For merelydovely  
> "ExR, menage à trois."

Something about Grantaire had seemed off from the moment he'd first walked in. He was just as drunk as usual, of that there was no doubt, but his grin seemed slightly less sardonic than usual, and he seemed obsessed with playing with the bottle and wiggling his eyebrows.

It wasn't until after the meeting and enduring a few hours worth of slightly suggestive gestures that he discovered the answer: the wine, a merlot, was from the company Menage a Trois.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ([Yes, it's a real thing.](http://www.menageatroiswines.com/wines/merlot))


	9. 15Acesplz

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For 15Acesplz  
> "Drinking, puns, and general shenanigans with Grantaire, Joly, and Bossuet"

"It occurred to me this afternoon that we've been gallivanting about the town for years now with no heroic alter egos," Bossuet declared one night after the third round of beerio kart. "This is an obvious and heinous oversight and deserves to be corrected at once."

"That is all well and good," Joly agreed, "but what sort of troupe should we be?"

Grantaire laughed. "It's obvious that we're more antiheroic than anything. Between Bossuet's luck and my own self, Joly might be the only light of good, except tainted by our influence he's much more a general of the shenanigans than any sort of crusader."

"Then General Shenanigans I shall be!" Joly exclaimed. "And along with my companions, the Gentleman of Misfortune and the Ne'er-Do-Well, we shall fight crime and create well-meaning havoc across the streets of this town!"

The other two agreed, and the planning of their hapless adventures took them well into the night. 


	10. Pilferingapples

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For pilferingapples  
> "Dead Man's Party"

Whenever it was Bahorel's turn to host a party, everyone wondered what theme would encompass. Joly and Bossuet had tried to place bets once, between Chocolate Paradise (come dressed as an oompa loompa!) or Cybernetic Enhancements (with wearable technology being a given). Of course, that time Bahorel had circumvented both their expectations by getting together with Jehan and creating a miniaturized but largely culturally accurate Obon festival, including providing a selection of jinbei and yukata for attendees to wear.

This time, it seemed, would be more of a return to form with a slight gamer bent.

"We're going to have a Come As Your Favourite Ace Attorney Victim Party," he announced. "I, of course, will be attending as Deid Mann."


	11. TheAdventureofTheVoid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For TheAdventureofTheVoid   
> "after hour drinks"

"And it's a very good recipe," Joly assures. "Passed down from my maternal grandmother, whose great grandparents discovered it while vacationing in England, and perfected in the Swiss alps, or so the legend goes. My great, great, grandfather was quite the chef, you see, and his sons as well as daughters…."

The story continued as Joly hunted down and added each ingredient to the cauldron on the stove.

"My grandfather swears up and down it's why he married her. HE often joked it was ambrosia, but that would be Greek, of course…."

He stirred the pot meticulously, sometimes pausing to sip a spoonful, adding a pinch or two more of this or that to fine tune the taste.

"My parents serve it nearly every time we have guests over. Though of course I was allowed nary a sip until I was thirteen. We'd sneak it, of course, at the end of the night; the dregs were thick so we'd water it down, but still…."

He moved to sit with his friends for a moment, keeping an eye on his pocketwatch as the concoction simmered away.

"Rumor says it stopped a riot shortly after the revolution…."

Nearly an hour had passed by the time Joly returned to the stove, still continuing to excitedly talk of the brew as he stirred it and then frowned.

"Darn it all. I forgot the brandy, and it has to be added at just the right moment or else it ruins everything. I suppose we'll just have to start all over again."


	12. Aelbereth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For aelbereth  
> "the ship of my dreams! in the brick, the nuns that educated Cosette replaced the word "amour" (love) with "tambour" (drum) in songs."

When she was little, Cosette dreamed of castles on clouds, and women in white, and children laughing and playing all around. Now, her dreams tended to be more earthly, but no less delightful in their manifestations.

Tonight she dreamt of a ship: a barque with its many sails unfurled. Ribbons were woven around each mast as if they'd once been maypoles, and further ribbons flew free in the wind. The crew was likewise decorated, colours and frills making everything soft.

Someone—a girl about her own age—danced upon the deck. Her dress was naught but rags and ribbons that swayed and swung with her every move. In her hand she held a tambourine, with which she made the dance's rhythm.

She was beautiful. She was pitiful. She was hauntingly familiar. She reminded Cosette of someone she saw recently, of someone from so long ago it seemed another life.

She watched her dance and hoped and prayed that this dream would return again and next time she would dance there too.


	13. Kitty_trio

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For kitty_trio  
> "the 'book title': Smart Ways to Use Poetry in a Street Fight"

Bahorel wasn't sure what was more surprising: that Jean Prouvaire was kicking his butt at Streetfighter, or if he was doing it while reciting original poetry about the characters. Either way, it was really impressive.

Inwardly, he wondered if it would transfer over to Tekken as well. Maybe they'd just slowly make their way through fighting games and see what Jehan could come up with. Perhaps he'd get Grantaire involved though, or the entire group. Bahorel didn't know if he could quite handle getting his ass handed to him that often by a poet.

Still, he thought as the match game to an end and Jehan finished a final couplet on Chun-Li, what an amazing skill to have!


	14. 1001paperboxes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For 1001paperboxes  
> "Spicing things up in the relationship"

It was Courfeyrac who had procured the list of aphrodisiacs. It was Combeferre who suggested they create a meal together based around the findings.

Cooking was a messy affair. Combeferre was never the best about sharing the kitchen, but the kissing and cuddling in stolen moments between tasks made it worthwhile regardless, and Courfeyrac looked adorable while absently humming in an apron.

Nearly every dish was spicy or spiced, even the chocolate fondue (with strawberries at the ready) had chili flakes mixed in for an extra kick. The main course was hot and savoury, and the mulled wine prepared was perfectly sweet.

By the time they were ready to settle down with the fruits of their labour, there was a clear sense of anticipation lying thick in the air. Tonight was going to be a fun one indeed, and a worthwhile experiment no matter which way it went.


	15. Theplottingpoet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For theplottingpoet  
> "the trio on a trip"

They started singing together when they were in high school, their voices finding harmony and their spirits finding friendship in each other. Their venues soon expanded from high school concerts and university cafés, to festivals, to concert halls.

The first time the local symphony asked them to appear as highlighted performers, Courfeyrac had hugged both of them tight the moment he'd gotten off the phone, and they'd gone out for a celebratory dinner before beginning to practice their hearts out.

But today? Today was the start of a new adventure: the first in a selection of appearances across Europe, Africa, Asia, and North and South America in a whirlwind, worldwide tour. They were backstage; Jehan was practicing his scales and Combeferre going over details with the concertmaster as Courfeyrac watched the audience slowly fill in from the wings.

This would be a big night, an amazing night, and he couldn't wait to see where it would lead.


	16. Icandrawamoth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For icandrawamoth  
> "Grantaire attempting to teach/do some kind of art project with Enjolras. Enjolras isn't very good but gives it his best shot."

"This is art?" Enjolras asked, looking uneasily at the canvas and the supplies Grantaire had laid out.

"Viewed by the right person, everything is art," Grantaire countered. "This one uses paints and canvas, and thus is practically traditional by some standards."

Enjolras sighed. "If this is your idea of traditional, I'm almost afraid to ask what's avant-garde."

Grantaire grinned. "Well, for one, I hear that Jehan's planning a twenty-four hour performance art piece…."

Enjolras just shook his head, and Grantaire continued.

"Anyway, it's fun. I assure you. A great stress reliever too, as you can let loose all your anger at the canvas. It's strong. It won't mind. It will look pretty when you're done."

"Fine."

Enjolras picked up the gun that Grantaire had prepared, aimed, and shot it at the canvas, leaving a purplish splotch upon the white surface.

"Good!" Grantaire called out. "Now only six or seven more ,and we'll call that an artwork."


	17. ElisabethMonroe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For ElisabethMonroe  
> "Combeferre and Courfeyrac at their school formal"

He'd spent the past month planning every last detail down to perfection. He'd taken flights of fancy, and Combeferre had provided the counterweight of budgetary and technical practicalities, helping him create the perfect atmosphere.

He could kiss that man….

And now, the gym was decorated. The refreshments were set. The playlist was queued up, and the speakers assembled. It was finally time.

The doors opened, and students started filing in, starting with M. Prouvaire's first graders and continuing up from there. A pair of fourth grade girls in matching dresses offered him a tissue paper and pipecleaner boutenier and he gladly accepted it, making a big show of attaching it to his shirt.

This would be the school's first formal dance, and it was going to be amazing.


	18. Takethewatch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For takethewatch  
> "reincarnation AU except instead of Enjolras and Grantaire it's Joly and Bossuet who keep running into each other again and again throughout history"

It started on the first day of school, between third and fourth periods. Jonah was on his way out of the history classroom when he found himself colliding with a student on the way in. He apologised quickly and rushed off; he had two flights of stairs to navigate, after all, and he didn't want to show up late to class!

The same thing happened again a week later, Jonah's feet getting tripped up and sending him flying into the same incoming student. The boy laughed, helped him pick up his things, and they went their separate ways once again.

Jonah wondered about malicious intent the third time around, but the boy seemed genuinely concerned and far too happy to help him back up.

The fourth time, Jonah started to wonder if he was cursed.

The fifth time, he found himself staring as a flood of memories washed over him in a rush.

"Bossuet? My eagle?"

"...Joly? Is that you?"

Suddenly, running into each other didn't seem so strange. And even if it was, as silly as it sounded, Jonah didn't mind at all.


	19. Darkhorse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Darkhorse  
> "Valvert. Dogs."

It's hard to run forever from a bloodhound, their noses sensitive even for a dog's. He'd not done too bad thus far, however, tramping in water and rolling in foul places where it would be hard to discern his scent from the overwhelming collection of smells. 

His own fur was rarely dry and never looked pristine. Once he may have cared about this, but those days were long gone. These days, he was happy enough to find a place to rest that was soft and dry and didn't have too many fleas buzzing around.

How many more times would they have to do this, he wondered. How many more trips to the pound? How long would he be able to bring joy to the little girl he'd rescued? How long before he'd stand before Javert and be greeted with licks and not bites and growls?

For now, though, running through the streets and perhaps a stray bite of food along the way.


	20. Konoto

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Konoto  
> "Hot, steamy action very late at night, and loud enough to wake other people. Can include modern or canon era. I'm not picky but the things that I don't want to read or see are abuse of any kind and/or major character death."

Most people enjoyed visiting saunas in silence; perhaps having a gentle conversation, but otherwise letting the steam wash over them and get to their heads in relative peace and quiet.

Grantaire had never understood that. After all, being in rooms hot enough to boil water, rolling in snow, and repeating the process while hitting yourself with sticks was metal as fuck, and required music to match. If the music was Finnish like the saunas themselves? All the better.

Bahorel seemed to agree; the first time he set it up, the man had been fast to ask what was going on, and faster still to join him. They sang along to some of the songs and thrashed on the sauna's high benches, and had a great time. (Apparently, he'd been having a nap after a particularly late night. He declared this a far more invigorating remedy than sleep.)

Now, they did it weekly. Enjolras and Feuilly made their excuses and went elsewhere (probably to some cafe where they could hear themselves think and compare notes on whatever treatise they had last discovered) while he and Bahorel lived it up pure Finnish style.

Yes, he thought as he ran out of the sauna and into the snowbanks, Bahorel fast on his heels, this indeed was the life.


	21. Bobcatmoran

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For bobcatmoran  
> "Feuilly + Something light and fluffy, please! and/or I would like some hot and heavy E/R, please!"

When Feuilly had first entered culinary school, he'd expected to specialize in Eastern European cuisine, or perhaps historical dishes. He wanted to keep traditions alive and find ways to innovate that honoured the spirit of each culture. It hadn't taken long for his teachers to notice he'd a knack for baking however, and he'd soon found himself on the pastry track. And from there, into competition.

He was the baker of his team, and he was rushing to make enough choux pastry to make a mountainous croquembouche that would serve as his main contribution to their display. On one side of him, Enjolras was blowing sugar sculptures, a pot of simple syrup bubbling on the stove nearby. Not far away, Grantaire was putting a blow torch to a massive block of ice, intent on turning it into some sort of sculptural masterpiece that he couldn't wait to see.

It would take an effort to beat last year's champions. Joly, Bossuet, and Musichetta were known to practically work as one as they created their culinary masterpieces. 

Still, if anyone stood a chance, he thought they did. Between his light and fluffy creations, and the hot sugar and heavy ice that his partners could turn into masterful delights, they could stand up against the best.


	22. English_Tea_Roses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For English_Tea_Roses  
> "One is a spoiled and cynical prince, the other is an idealist knight. I'm not looking for anything too deep or complex here, so feel free to run wild with wherever the story takes you."

"Who thought it was a good idea to cast those two opposite each other?" Courfeyrac whispered, watching Enjolras and Grantaire bickering onstage once again.

Combeferre sighed and massaged his temples. "There was no-one else even  _ capable _ of pulling of a Prince Charming, and Grantaire knows his way around stage combat. Plus not many men came out at all, and M. Hugo was adamant that the leads be played by those of the appropriate gender."

"True," Courfeyrac sighed. "And technically both of them are right in their criticisms; Enjolras really can't do cynicism for anything, and Grantaire, for all he's got that down, has little to build off of in constructing a white knight."

"They'll get it," Combeferre assures him. "I know they will."

Courfeyrac nods. "In the meantime, shall we go over our lines? I have a wizard who would love to seek some knowledge from peasant number two…."


	23. Shellcollector

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For shellcollector  
> "Joly and Bossuet help Grantaire with his depression. A cosy story featuring herbal remedies, kittens, blankets and a cake gone wrong."

"So, you were fired, you're pretty much broke, and your rent's past due?"

Grantaire nodded his approval, took another swig of beer, and tried to sink further into the couch.

"Why, that's happened to me at least five times," Bossuet exclaimed. "Joly and I, we call it a depression. Like the 1930s, but on a personal level you see."

"It's very unfortunate and stressful," Joly added, "but we have found remedies that have proven dependable."

"For one, you're moving in with us."

"Bossuet's bedroom hasn't actually been used in five months anyway."

"Not since my sister last visited, no."

"And after that, we're having a  _ day _ ."

" _ Days _ always cheer me up." 

"We've come up with around fifty things that we can do in the city for free or next to it, and more than that for doing around the house."

"We could go to the pet store or watch movies…."

"In my medical opinion, I'd suggest pizza and an hour with Mr. Squigglebottoms."

Grantaire took another swig and continued listening to his friends planning the best way to help him out. It was a little much, perhaps, but at least it would be  _ interesting. _


	24. Thirdtimecharmed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For thirdtimecharmed  
> "A day in the life of the modern AU J/B/M+R household. Background relationships are fine to mention, visits from friends are welcome, puns are encouraged. Just, a day of typical shenanigans."

"And here we have the bald-headed eagle in his natural habitat," Joly proclaimed in a fake Australian accent as the camera circled around Bossuet eating breakfast. "It looks like he's found himself some vittles. Best not to disturb 'im, lest he turn dangerous."

The camera continued panning, this time landing upon Musichetta working at the kitchen counter.

"Crikey! It's a sheila!"

She turned and shook her head, then approached, hands bent into claws.

"This could be the end, folks! Aaah!"

The video came to a halt, and Grantaire left out a laugh.

"Are all your home videos like that?"

"As many as I can make," Joly agreed. "We're going to have to make more with you though, for posterity's sake."

Grantaire laughed again and nodded. "For posterity's sake indeed!"


End file.
